Emmett's HitList
by twilightaddict13
Summary: It's a Sunday afternoon and Emmett is bored out of his mind. The rest of the family went hunting. Emmett cooks up a plan and picks up the phone,"Hey, Bella.I know something we can do. Come over as soon as you can." Used to be a one shot!
1. Vengeance

How to Annoy the Cullen

How to Annoy the Cullen

"Kids"

Jasper Cullen

1.Tell him he's got more mood swings than Bella.

2.Play with sharp objects when he's around.

3.Put rainbows on his boxers.

4.Tell him Alice is the man in the relationship.

5.Make him do 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson.

6.Take him to see the fishies at WalMart when he's thirsty.

7.Have Emmett blow kisses and wink at him at school.

8.Spray a room full of humans with laughing gas when he's trying to have a "serious" moment with Alice.

9.Tell Alice that Jasper doesn't like the room decorations.

10.Put gum in his hair.

Rosalie Cullen

1.Cough she enters the room.

2.Don't look at her.

3.Laugh when she's trying to talk to you.

4.Ask her where she bought her hair.

5.Ask her to fix your car, then break something afterwards each time.

6.Tell her, her makeup looks smudged.

7.Dress Emmett in her lingerie.

8.Give Emmett a pet kitty named Rosie.

9.Walk past her and scream then run the other direction.

10.Throw Rosie at her.

Alice Cullen

1.Tell her she has bad taste.

2.Tell her she needs to sue whoever did her nails.

3.Egg her Porsche.

4.When she has a vision of you tee-peeing her room, tell her Jasper told you to.

5.Send Maria a love note.

6.Sign Alice's name to it.

7.Tell her she doesn't look _too _bad for her age.

8.Ask her which Target she got her purse from.

9.Buy her a 'How To' makeup set.

10.Submit her to a "shopping rehab" support group.

Edward Cullen

1.Tell him Bella had guilt sex with Jacob.

2.She's pregnant.

3.Hide his Volvo keys.

4.Ask him what steroid he's on.

5.Have Bella walk down stairs in Stilettos when he's out hunting.

6.Make him volunteer at a daycare with ADHD toddlers.

7. Lock him in a room with all women at a sanitarium.

8.Say Bella's wedding ring is fake.

9.Play hide and seek with Bella in the woods.

10.Tell him you know he's gay and you have a friend who wants to meet him.

"Ha! Squares." Emmett folded up his list of ways to sabotage his siblings and put it in his pockets.

"Who's the dumb one now."


	2. Operation:: Humiliate Edward Part ONE

Roses are wilting

Violets are dead

Bella's getting frisky

And Edward needs head

* * *

Bella met a little boy

His skin as white as snow

And every time they were alone

She'd get on her knees and blow

* * *

Jack and Jill went up the hill

Repressed so they started to run

But Bella and Edward beat them there

And were having a little fun

* * *

All around the mulberry bush

The vampire chased the human

The vampire conquered when she got wary

And pop went her cherry

* * *

Little Miss Bella sat next to her fella

Eating her lunch away

Edward got happy, they left in a snappy

Always forgetting to pay

As Edward finished reading the paper Emmett had handed him, his eyes shut tight and the paper crumbled in his hand. "Emmett…"

"Well Eddie, how do you like 'em? Ha! Shakespeare has nothing on me!!"

"Emmett" Edward growled again. I looked up at him. His eyes snapped open and he dropped the paper. Emmett jumped over the couch and dashed outside. Edward right behind him. I picked up the paper and began reading it. When I finished, my face was hot. Crimson taking over every surface of my cheeks. A few seconds later, suddenly

over my embarrassment, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie walked through the door.

"Hey Bella. Where's Edward and Emmett?" And with that, I burst out laughing.

**AN: Hey loves, thank you for everything! Make sure you read my profile. There is an excellent proposal for those of you who actually like my stuff. Thanks again for reviewing and things. And for those of you who have reviewed, it's ok. I'm not allergic to reviews, so it's safe to send them. Bye!!**


	3. Operation:: Humiliate Edward Part TWO

Bella gets a new cell phone, courtesy of the Cullens...What neither her nor Edward know is that Alice and Emmett stole her phone and decide to mess with Edward. 

_Hey u sexy beast u!!-bella_

_**Bella??**_

_**Are you ok?**_

_Of course baby! I just miss u that's all._

_**Oh. Well I miss you too. **_

_So. I just escaped from emmett and alice,_

_I'm all alone…._

_**Uhm, ok. Was there a reason you texted me?**_

_**Not that I oppose or anything!**_

_I just wanted to you know…talk._

_**Bella, what are you implying??**_

_**This isn't like you…what did my siblings do to you?**_

_I think u know exactly what I'm talking about._

_They haven't done anything to me. But I wanna do things_

_to you…_

_**Bella! Please, Behave!!**_

_Come on Eddie! Talk to me._

_**I am talking to you! And by the way, you **_

_**are the ONLY one who gets to call me Eddie!**_

_No, Eddie. I want you to talk dirty to me._

_**What?!**_

_You heard me. Talk dirty to me. _

_**Not now Bella. Please, just drop it.**_

_Know what I wanna YOU to drop?_

_**Bella…don't!**_

_L__ You're angry at me now…_

_**No! I'm not angry with you! I never could be.**_

_**It's just I really don't want to be talking to you **_

_**About this. **_

_Why? Are you scared?? Oh well. You couldn't talk dirty if your "life" _

_Depended on it. You're to much of a gentleman. _

_**Excuse me?!**_

_**You're just trying to get me to give in. **_

_So what if I am…_

_**Trust me, my thoughts of you are far from clean some times. **_

_Whatever Edward. Just go back to whatever it _

_Was that you were doing before I DISTURBED you!_

_**No no no no! You brought this challenge on, now**_

_**I'm gonna play the game!**_

_Well then go ahead, if you have it in you. _

_**Contrare, it's not me that has it in me. It's You**_

_**that's gonna have ME in You!**_

…_wow, that was actually almost dirty. _

_**What the hell Bella!!I just told you I was gonna put me inside you!How is that not dirty?!**_

_Come on, I know you can do better._

_**There are soo many things I want to do to you Bella, trust me. **_

_**Being dirty is def. on that list.**_

_Really? What is it that you wanna do to me?_

_**I want to run home to you right now. Sling you over my shoulder, carry you to my room, and throw you on the bed. I'll kiss you so passionately your brain melts out of your ears. Then I'll rip every inch of clothing off your body and touch you every where. Lick every inch of you. Then I'll slowly remove my clothes, torturing you, making you want more. I'll slowly walk over to the bed and get on top of you. But to get you ready, I'll get face to face with your core. Then I'll shove my ice cold tongue in you. When you scream my name and orgasm, I'll lick every drop you spill for me. As I crawl up your body, you'll be trembling with pleasure. That's when I'll screw you fast and hard for days on end. **_

…

"Holy Shit!! Dude, Alice read this!! He did it!" Emmett angled the phone to where Alice could see. After reading the screen, her mouth was a perfect O.

"Edward. Just. Oh. Wow. Damn, he's better than you!" The two were shocked that their oldest "gentlemanly" brother just talked dirty to them. Well, technically Bella, but he didn't know and they didn't plan on telling him.

I just finished talking to Renee on the phone. We had to plan her flight and what not. When I finally said good-bye, I walked back into the Cullen living room. I saw Emmett and Alice sitting there suspiciously, looking in opposite directions and whistling. Oh something's definitely up.

Just then my new phone beeped, meaning there was a text message.

_**Was that good enough for you baby? I'd be**_

_**Happy to try again. I'm already happy. Just thinking about you**_

_**Is making me hard and rise up. **_

Oh. My. God. This couldn't have been Edward. It was, this was his number. After about 5 minutes of absolute shock, I looked to the previous message.

"Holy Shit!! 'Was that _good enough?' I want more!!_"

Emmett, who was trying to stifle his laughter, murmured rather amusedly,

"That's what she said."


	4. Jasper, do you like Kiwis?

**Sorry it took a while, but I now have a scheme ready for your eyes. Thanks for all the reviews. I still need some help. There are a few more people who haven't gotten picked on yet. But have no fears, I'm right on it. Don't forget to review. There have been more reads than reviews, I really appreciate them. Thank **Twilighteen-2011 **for this chapter. **

**Thanks Twilighteen-2011!!**

We were just driving in Emmett's jeep. His booming voice singing along with "If you wanna be my lover" by Spice Girls. I swear, I almost peed my pants listening to him. We finally came to a stop. I looked around and saw we were at a pet shop.

Emmett, for some odd reason, thought I would be the best accomplice in all this. I'm not sure why. I'm hoping it's just because I'm not on his list. Although I have to admit, the conversation with Edward about the whole text messaging situation was very awkward. Actually, Alice threatened me to not tell Edward that it was her and Emmett. If I told him, I'd be sentenced to a month of shopping and make overs. I shuddered just by thinking about it. However, Edward's smart. He's suspicious. Anyway, back to the present. Emmett took me from Edward saying he needed a human's help for something. He stayed behind with Jasper while the girls, of course, went shopping.

"Emmett, what are we doing here?" I was almost scared. It's times like these I was missed Jasper's emotion manipulation.

"Me and you are going to have some fun with a certain brother of mine."

"Oh, come on Emmett. Don't you think you've picked on him enough?"

"No way!! He's got more coming. However, I'm talking about another certain brother of mine." Aw, poor Jasper. He was always caught in the middle of everything.

We walked into the pet store. Emmett got a lot of looks from both men and women. He was good looking I'll admit, but he was nothing compared to Edward. There was no comparison. Emmett and I walked to the very back where they were having their special 'Saturday Puppies-For-Sale' thing. Emmett walked up to one and started wagging his finger in front of it. The puppy responded with very eager jumping. It was funny, they seemed like the perfect match.

"Oh my gosh! Look at him! He's so cute. Can we get, Bella? _Please?!_" Why was he asking me? Wait. Why did he want a dog??

"Well, I always have wanted a dog. Renee's allergic though. Sure Emmett. Let's get him!" With that, I got one of the workers to answer some questions.

"Well, now that I think about it…I'm not really sure I want him anymore. My family has this thing with _dogs_." Hah! Silly Emmett. If only the clerk knew the double meaning in that. If only she knew.

"Uhm. Are you sure? A lot of women love guys who have small little dogs…" She gave him an attempted flirty smile.

"Well…you see. My wife isn't too big on dogs either. Come on Bella. Let's go." Poor girl looked like someone just got her with a tazer. Right when she turned around, Emmett wiggled his eye brows at me.

"What?" He never answered, but kept giving me this silly grin. "We better get home now." That was such a waste of a trip. Besides the part that we got to see cute little puppies.

Emmett walked around to my side and opened the door for me with one hand. It was still too high for me, so again with one hand, he lifted me up into my seat. As soon as he got into the car he reached his other hand out of his pocket and pulled out a very tiny dog. The fur was white and brown, very soft. It was the same dog he had been looking at!"What the crap, Emmett? You _stole _a puppy?!" He started laughing and the dog barked.

"Don't say a word Bella! I have a plan." Oh wonderful. He's pulling me into this mess. I tell you, Emmett is very diabolical!

A few minutes later, we were at the house again. The house was very quiet. The girls must still be out.

"Ok. Now, Bella. Go upstairs to Edward's room and say nothing! Act normal. I'll take care of everything else." He whispered so his brothers couldn't hear him. I even strained to hear and he was whispering in my ear!

I walked to Edward's room and opened the door slowly. He was laying on his couch, eyes closed, and listening to music. He looked like he was sleeping. Aw, he looks so cute when he looks asleep! I think he heard me because a smile appeared on his face instantly. I closed the door behind me and walked towards him. He still laid there, hands behind his head and smiling. I leaned down and kissed him quick on the cheek. Right when I was pulling away, he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me to his lips. His kiss was quiet forceful, yet still gentle. Of course he still didn't let us open our mouths He said something about his teeth cutting me and stuff. I don't know. I didn't really pay attention.

"I missed you, love!" He purred in my ear. I went dizzy and almost fell. He grabbed me quickly and placed me on top of him. Ever since the meadow, Edward thought it was funny to torture me like this. I don't think he did it on purpose, but my god was it torture!

"I missed you, too." He held me to him tighter and we laid there. I was just beginning to fall asleep while he played with my hair and traced his fingers all over my back, when suddenly came a very angry shout.

"WHAT THE HELL?! EMMETT!!" Edward and I ran downstairs to see what all the commotion was about. Jasper was standing at the end of the stairway and Emmett was holding the puppy in a protective sort of way. By now, Rosalie and Alice were home.

"Emmett, get rid of it now!!" Jasper said in a calm yet frustrated voice.

"NO!! I will not! This is Kiwi! She stays!" Emmett shouted back in a rather girlish voice.

Rosalie stepped forward, "Emmett, honey, what possessed you to get a dog? Why don't you just take it back?"

"No! We've bonded! Look she even has my eyes!" Emmett held 'Kiwi' up to his face, which was bigger than the dog itself, and formed puppy eyes of his own.

Jasper gave an irritated huff and headed for the couch. Alice and Rosalie went up to put their new clothes away. Edward and I joined Jasper in the living room, sitting on the love seat, clinging to each other. Edward tilted my head up to look at him. He pushed my hair behind my ears with his other hand and we gazed into each other's eyes. Cheesy, I know. But God, if Edward was staring at you, how could you not look back?! A few minutes passed and he finally pulled me in for a kiss.

"This world hates me." I heard Jasper whisper to himself and he heaved himself off the couch and go upstairs. Edward chuckled.

The next day, I woke up in Edward's arms as usual. I got up and headed for the shower. I finished and got dressed. My hair was still a little damp, but it would dry fast. I went down stairs and right when I got down to the fourth step, I heard a very high shriek. Turns out, it came from Emmett. Then a laugh from Rosalie and a small giggle from Alice. Edward was cracking up leaning against the couch for support.

"KIWI, NO!!" Emmett was on his knees in front of Jasper.

"You freak!! You knew I haven't hunted in a while!" Jasper shouted. I sensed a hint of concern. However, he could feel Emmett's emotions. They were far from depressed. I for one was sad to hear about the poor doggy. She never had a chance. Though, this family wasn't the most sentimental for pets of any kind.

"Oh dear…Jazz, he did it on purpose…he…stole it…from…the store…" Alice said through her laughter. Edward just laughed even harder. Huh, he didn't seem like one to think this was funny.

"You WHAT?" Jasper shouted. Emmett stood up and laughed. Jasper started chasing him. Emmett leaped over the couch and ran out the back door, Jasper right on his trail.

"Poor Kiwi." I said.

"I wonder how it tasted…" The three remaining vampires spoke up, all thinking the same thing.

**In loving memory of Kiwi, here is the link of what she looks like:**

****

/puddentinyfe2cbestuseit.jpg


	5. Alice, Sweet Alice

**Sorry, I know it's not that wonderful, but I'm working on it. Ideas and suggestions would be appreciated. That goes for Tantalizing as well. And if you just give me ideas for a random story, I'll do that too!!**

**Chapter 5: Alice, Sweet Alice**

Ah, my sweet little sister. They all have had their turn. Well, except my dear Rosalie, but I was still debating on whether it was worth it to prank her. But Alice, ooh did she have it coming. I don't really have a special plan, just little things as I go. It would be difficult to actually plan something out. She'd see it and call me out. That would not happen! I'm a lot smarter than people think!

Alice was getting ready to go to the mall. She had just found 'the perfect outfit' to wear. Ha, Prank Alice: Phase 1. She grabbed her shoes and headed down the stairs. When she got to the bottom of the stairs, I hid behind the wall with one of Esme's cleaning rags. As soon as Alice leaned over to slip on her heels, I ripped the fabric in half. Alice suddenly shot up and grabbed her butt.

"AAHH!! No! These are my favorite pants!" With that, she ran upstairs. The whole day she spent mourning over her pants.

Edward and Bella were cuddling up on the love seat. Freaks, you'd think they would have stepped it up a little. But _no_…they have to pretend to be all _innocent. _One day, that'll all change. If not, I'll make them! Suddenly, Alice mopped into the living room, stood in front of the couch, and threw herself down beside me.

"Oh come on, Alice. Don't you think you're being a little over dramatic about your beloved pants?" Edward said. Alice glared at him.

"Edward. Remember your favorite sweat shirt you lost a while back and never found?"

"Yes. Why?""I know where it is." Alice stated matter-of-factly. She stuck up her nose and exited the room. Edward just glared at her and I laughed. Phase 1 complete. Onto Phase 2.

I used Edward's recently acquired laptop and hooked it up to Carlisle's printer. I found one of the programs on there and started typing. I had to do this at vampire speed. As soon as my flyers were printed out, I ran to the busiest street in Forks. Which isn't saying much…but it was commonly used. I pinned up the flyers, once again at vampire speed. About 10 minutes later, I finished and headed back home. Alice still wasn't home from some meeting with some person dealing with the wedding. Jasper was sitting on the living room couch reading. He looked at me, well glared, but his face quickly questioned me. I just walked to the kitchen whistling. To my not surprise, Bella was in there.

"Hello my favorite little human. Where art thou Eddie?"

"Emmett, you know if he hears you call him that, he'll hurt you."

"Not if he's not here. So where is he?"

"He's upstairs getting his laptop." CRAP!! I forgot to delete my work! Oh well, Alice will think it's him. Speaking of Alice, she should be home any minute. There was a huge crack of thunder. The electricity went out for a few seconds then flickered back on. Bella jumped into my arms. I laughed when she blushed and just hugged her. That's when the front door slammed hard.

"EMMETT!!" Ha, I found Alice!

"EMMETT GET YOUR _ASS_ IN HERE, RIGHT. NOW!" For such a little girl, she could be very cruel. I'm kind of scared now. Bella looked up at me. I didn't let go of her. Instead I grabbed both her arms and spinned her in front of me. We walked into the living room to see a drenched Alice. Her hair was flat against her head. Her clothes dripping onto the floor. Her feet squished against her shoes as she inched her way closer. I backed up a little.

"Did…you need…something?" I choked out.

"What did you do Emmett?" Bella said from in front of me.

"I don't know.""Oh. You don't know?! Then you also wouldn't know why I've gotten calls from random guys of all ages and orientations!" She held a paper in front of her it said:

_Living with mom. Looking for a dad. _

_Prefer big black men, long walks on the beach_

_And being spanked. _

_Call me anytime_

Underneath the add was Alice's cell phone number. Her face was priceless.

"Thanks to you, I got a call in the middle of my meeting by some gay guy asking me if I wanted a good time!"

**(I hope I didn't offend anyone by the gay thing. I know more gay people than straight, so offense totally not intended!)**

Alice charged at me, but Bella was blocking her way. Unwillingly, but still was in her way. Alice grabbed Bella's hands and yanked her away. I held on tightly. As we both tugged on her, Edward ran and smacked me in the back of my head causing me to release my hold. He grabbed her waist and they stood by Jasper just watching.

"I guess I should tell you about your pants then." She grabbed a fistful of my shirt and pinned me against the wall.

"What. About. Them."

"Well, did you actually _check _the rip?" She looked at me suspiciously.

"No. I di- wait. I never told you about that!" Finally, it struck her.

"You little freak! You did that! Ooh, you are soo going to pay!" I tore myself from her grip, leaving part of my shirt in her hands. I dashed outside into the pouring rain. I burst out laughing. I fell to the ground from laughing so hard. Then I saw a shape standing a few feet away from me. When my eyes focused, I realized who it was. Alice, Sweet Alice.


	6. Bella Baby

**I love you: Twilightteen-2011, bellacullen12, cullens12, SinkFish, FireCats20, Gotsta Have My Hardy, Gatoimp13, Aye Chihuahua (-ha, love the name), LaTuaCantante14, AchavaElah Kyohaku, Elodie (not saying last name), Sincos.is.the.bomb, im with the vampires3, aras, misha, EmilyMCullen, and xxeclipsexx. I love you guys! And I thank each and every one you personally! **

**Chapter 6: Bella Baby, I've been a awful good boy.**

Hmm. Let's see. Who's next? I sexually embarrassed Edward. I emotionally harassed Jasper. I put Alice through social torture and made her think her pants ripped. Ooh. I forgot the revenge she got when she found out her pants weren't really ripped. Ouch. Painful memory. I wouldn't dare to anything to Rosalie. One because she scares me when she's mad. Two, she'd take away certain…needs that-uh need her attention. Yep, Rose's out of the question. Carlisle and Esme didn't deserve to be picked on. Hmm. I got it! Bella.

Bella is way to easy, that's why I usually over look her. However, she'd be part of the family soon and I considered her a sister already! But I need something that will _really _get her- and I mean _really _get her! What makes Bella, Bella, I thought to myself. The thing that defines her from everyone else. Her hair? No. Eyes? No. Cute puffy cheeks? No. Ha, it's not like anyone's ever seen their real color. She's always blushing! Any who, on with the li-. Wait a minute. BLUSH!! That's what makes her, her!

She's embarrassed by anything that draws attention to her. Ok, got that. So it will have to be in front of people.

Now, all I had to do was think of something to make her blush. Well hell. That could be anything! No. I want it to be more…more…memorable, more significant, funnier! Maybe I should ask Edward. Her cheeks are a permanent red when he's within ten feet of her. No way, he'd kill me if he knew what I was up to.

Ooh, I got it! Every time Bella gets touched by Edward it's like Mega Blush. Ok, I got it now! But that's not all. She's not getting off that easily. Thinking…thinking…thinking…YES!! BRILLIANT!! El brillianto or whatever the hell it is. I never took Spanish. But this idea was awesome!! All I need is pink paint, fabric scissors, and an air brush machine!!

**Ok. So this is the first part. Yes, incredibly short I know. I just thought I'd go ahead and give you this while I finish writing the rest of it so that way you've got something to read in the meantime. Thanks to all of you darling people who have reviewed!! And of course to all the people that added this (and me) to their favorites/alerts. It's unbelievable!! I don't what's so exciting about this, but apparently you like it. So I basically just got shoved the thanks in here. **


	7. Bella Baby: Part Two

_**Once again, thank you reviewers!! And adders of favorites/alerts. To the people who reviewed the first part, I'll add them to this chapter's reviewers and mention names next chapter. Next chapter: Rosalie!!**_

_**(Thank you for all your ideas everyone! They were great! Send me more of what you want to see happen!)**_

_**By the way, the first step Emmett does to make Bella blush was the dearest Misha's idea. Thank you misha! Love ya!**___

* * *

_**Chapter 6; Part Two**_

The plan was all set. Now all I needed was Bella to stay the night here. That shouldn't be hard. With Alice always bugging her and Edward with wedding plans, I'm sure it's possible to have her sleep over. I started walking to the garage where Rosalie was going to pimp my jeep - which apparently can't handle my driving very well - then I heard Alice talking on the phone. Hopefully she hadn't seen my plan…Nah, she's too preoccupied to worry about me. Ha ha ha!

"I need you to come over and do make the food choices…Oh come on Bella, you know I can't do it…I won't do any makeovers…Promise? Let's not go too far Bella…Ugh. Fine! No makeovers I promise…Thank you!! Why don't you spend the night too. You haven't been over in a long time…You know what I mean, you've been spending all your time with Charlie and Edward. Don't get me wrong! It's sweet what you're doing for Charlie, but just stay tonight. We miss you!…Around 3...Yay!…Bye Bella!"

Perfect! Someone must really love me right now. Speaking of which, I need to go see what Rose did to my jeep. Hopefully I have like mega speed or something.

After Rosalie and I…uh…finished up the deed, I mean JEEP! Finished up the jeep. I saw Jasper. He looked a little bored. So, me being the best brother in the world, I sent him into a whirlwind of boredom.

"Ugh, Emmett, seriously! Is that really necessary?" I grinned.

"You love me.""Whatever. Want to play Halo 3 with me?" Jasper said. We were like video game buddies. I said yes and we plugged up the machine and got out the cordless controllers.

**(Quiet frankly, I know pretty much didley squat when it comes to video games, but my friends love them. I watched two of my friends play Halo 3, I think, so I have no clue if I even got this info right.)**

"Haha! God Emmett, you suck!" Jasper was laughing at me because he was winning.

"Your face sucks!" I replied. Ooh, what now pretty boy?!

"Your mom sucks!"

"Your grandma sucks! Ha!" I just shot some dude that was coming after me. Jasper's eyes were still glued to the screen, but I heard him snicker.

"Emmett, did you seriously just shoot him there?" So what? I shot him in the dick. It was more fun that way. That's when I got sight of Jasper running behind me.

"You're doing down brotha." He shouted. But I turned around swiftly and threw a bomb on him.

"Ha! Burn, Bitch, Burn!" I watched as his face fell and his man blow up. He chucked the controller at my head.

"I hate you." He muttered as he walked away. Haha, I swear Jasper was way too emotional for his own good.

That's when I heard Edward's precious Volvo pull up. I heard Bella almost trip, but Edward caught her. Oh dear, Bella. You're just making this worse for yourself. When they walked in I had just finished putting up all video game related items and started channel surfing. It was 1:17, a little less than two hours before Alice took over Bella. Such good timing.

"Hey Emmett, what's up?" Bella said as she sat down next to me. Edward sat on the other side of her with his arm laid across the back of the couch. She kind of leaned into him which would only make this better for me.

"Edward. Bella. Nothing much. Just watching t.v." I looked over at her in the corner of my eye. I noticed Edward looking at me suspiciously. So I averted my gaze and started singing in my head. A minute passed before Edward was finally fed up.

"Emmett, what are you up to?'

"Gasp! Brother why do you keep insisting that I'm diabolical?" I kept singing in my head.

"Well, for one, it's who you are. And two, you're singing Santa Baby in your head, in the middle of July." I grinned widely and dropped the subject, though the song still continued. When I got to a certain part Edward groaned in frustration, - with me or his sexual urges, I'm not quiet sure - and turned his stare to a glare then finally looked away.

_Santa Honey, _

_There is one thing that I really do need, the deed._

_To a platinum mine._

_Santa Honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight._

Bella's hand was resting near Edward's knee and that's when I decided to take my plan to the first step: Make Bella Blush. I stopped on the food channel so it would get her attention. Then I moved in. Edward still ignoring my thoughts.

I slowly drew my hand closer and closer to Bella's thigh. Running my fingertips on the side of her jeans. She looked at my hand then my face. I looked up through my eye lashes and gave her a flirty smile.

"Bella, baby. I love it when you blush." Yes, she was already starting to turn pink! She looked down at my hand again. Her eyes were kind of worried and confused. So I stopped my hand on top of her thigh and leaned closer to her.

"Blush for me, Bella." I whispered in her ear. Man did she turn red!! You should of seen her! She made a raspberry look pale! I tried to hold in my laughter but I couldn't. It all took of two seconds: Bella hid her face in Edward's chest and I felt a hand hit me hard in the back of the head. My head jerked forward, man that hurt! I looked over at Edward still grinning that I just hit two birds with one stone. Bella was still hiding in Edward. As I leaned back again, I said,

"Don't be jealous, Eddie." I laughed at my own statement. But I was, yet again, smacked right in the back of the head.

"Damn, why is everyone aiming for my head!" I remembered how Jasper threw the controller at me.

"Because you're an idiot!" He replied. I tried to think of a comeback, but I heard him mumble something. "And you called me Eddie." Bella giggled a little. My grin widened. Edward just glared at me, Bella was leaning into him but she wasn't hiding anymore. She looked up at him and he looked down at her.

"Calm down, Eddie." She giggled. Edward smiled and kissed her forehead. What! He smacks me when I call him Eddie, but kisses _her_ when _she _calls him Eddie.

"Yeah, calm down _Eddie._" I scoffed. I was hit again, same place, same force. I grabbed the back of my head and yanked myself up.

"What the hell man!" And walked away.

So my attempt to make Bella blush was successful. Not to mention, I pissed off Eddie too! Though it had high risk - my head - it was awesome!

Later that evening, I had to take step 2: Awkwardness. As Bella, Edward, and Alice were arguing over something wedding related, I snuck up to Eddie's room (I decided that's what I'd call Edward from now on) and found Bella's bag. I quickly grabbed it's contents and ran it up to my room. I got out the fabric scissors and began cutting.

Once the cutting was done, I got out the air brush dooley whomper and hooked up the hot pink paint. And so it begins.

" Enter evil laugh here" I said to myself. I then began laughing, but kept it quiet so no one would hear me. I tried to do things that would keep Edward out of my head.

_She had them apple bottoms jeans jeans_

_Boots with the fur, with the fur!_

_The whole club was lookin at her. _

_She hit the flo. She hit the flo. _

_Next thing I know_

_Shawty got low low low low low low low low_

_Baggy sweat pants _

_With the Reeboks and the straps, with the straps!She turned around and _

_Gave that big booty a smack_

_She hit the flo. She hit the flo. _

_Next thing I know_

_Shawty got low low low low low low low low_

I continued singing songs that I knew Edward couldn't stand. When my task was finished, I carefully arranged the clothes so that it looked as if nothing happened and put it back in the duffle bag.

The night went by slowly. I was absolutely bored. Alice was sitting on the love seat on Jasper's lap, reading some bridal magazine. Rosalie and I were on the couch making out. Ah, yes. Being a teenager does have it's perks. Bella had gone to bed about an hour ago. It was already 2am. Edward went up to sleep with her. Ha, get it. Sleep with her. I wonder if he does anything while she's asleep. If I had to watch Rose sleep, I'd get so freaking bored! I'd have to entertain myself. I'd probably end up molesting her in her sleep. Haha, no way. Edward wouldn't do that. Probably a good thing to. Imagine what Bella's reaction to find herself waking up seeing hand prints on her. I laughed to myself. Apparently Edward heard me. He raced down the stairs and…what did he do? Hit me in the damn head. Again! Rose looked at him shocked, then hit my arm. I looked at her with confusion. She shrugged.

"You probably deserved it." Oh that's lovely. My wife hits me because my brother's a gentleman with manners so if he thinks I did something wrong, the whole stupid world does too!

Edward walked away at a slightly faster pace than a human.

"Per," I heard him mutter as he walked up the stairs.

My attention instantly went back to the extravagant woman in front of me. I loved her so much. I would be nothing without her. I thought about it for a minute. Should I mess with her? **(a/n: nothing dirty!!)** My siblings went through it. A moment of pondering is needed. I looked at her beautiful face. She smiled a sweet loving smile. I returned it and kissed her passionately. Oh yes, I'd get her too.

The next morning, Alice sat across from me at the kitchen table telling me about the rest of what she had to do for the wedding. If vampires could sleep, I'd be in a coma right now. Occasionally I'd throw in a "Oh my gosh Alice. That's wonderful" in a rather dead/monotone voice. Esme was making breakfast for Bella. She's been having fun lately with cooking. Now that she started, she loves it. I saw pancakes with strawberries on a plate setting on the counter. A few minutes later, Edward and Bella walked downstairs. Both in the same clothes as yesterday. It's kind of funny to look at. They spent the whole night together in Edward's room, came out in the same clothes, hair messed up, clothes wrinkled, and Edward smiling. If I didn't know them better, I would have thought they had had some fun last night. I scoffed at the thought. Yeah right.

"So, Bella. Now that we've got the food covered, all we need to do is find centerpieces and favors." Bella looked up from her breakfast and shot Alice a death glare.

"Alice," she started slowly, "I'm sure you can come up with something."

Alice opened her mouth to say something, but Bella cut her off, "without me." Alice frowned and got up from the table. Bella exited the kitchen to get dressed. I stayed behind talking to Esme and Edward. For once, we actually had a nice mother/son moment.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I recognized them as Bella's. I saw her reach the last of the steps. That's when I noticed something. Oh. My. _Gawd!_ She hasn't looked at her outfit yet!! Oh, man this is priceless!! So much better than I thought it would be.

She walked in and stopped at the entryway. Edward's eyes bulged. Esme turned around and suddenly stopped in mid sentence. Her eyes widened as well.

"Oh my god." I heard Edward whisper. Bella's cheek went pink. She looked down at the ground like she usually did when she was embarrassed. That's when she saw. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. I burst with laughter and fell out of my chair. There were two squares cut in the chest of her t-shirt. Revealing, not only her bra, but the tops of what it was holding. Her entire face went red with humiliation. Jasper and Alice had just descended from the stairs and caught a look at Bella. They were standing behind her so they didn't see what we did. No, they saw something better. Bella glared at me and I used my finger for the international symbol for 'turn around.' I laughed even harder when she did. Her back was facing us, but she bent her head so she could see. Alice was laughing, too. Jasper was chuckling lightly. Edward just sat there shaking his head with a glum look. On the back of her plain white shirt were the words I'M _ALL_ EDWARD'S in bright pink painted on it. Underneath EDWARD'S was a large arrow pointing down. The butt of her jean shorts were cut out. It showed her underwear that Alice had gotten her. They were white, lacy, and had kind of 'shorts' style. I don't know what girls call them.

Jasper laughed out loud, but instantly cleared his throat and tried to hide the smile playing on his lips. Alice turned her head to the side and covered her mouth. Her eyes were closed as she shook slightly from laughing. Esme's mouth formed an O, then suddenly turned back to the dishes and started humming. This was so freaking AWESOME!! I didn't bother trying to hide my chortling. Edward glared at me and walked towards Bella. She had her face in her hands. He put his arm around her and started walking out.

"SUCCESS!" I punched my fist in the air. Then it felt like a supernatural hammer slammed into the back of my head. I looked around completely shocked. That's when I saw Edward's head turned towards me while walking up the stairs giggling quietly to himself.


	8. Forming Alliances

**I'M SOOOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY!! MY COMPUTER HAS BEEN MESSING UP BIG TIME! IT NEVER EMAILED ME WHEN I HAD REVIEWS/ALERTS/FAVORITES OR ANYTHING. I'M SORRY FOR NOT REPLYING OR THANKING YOU!! I HOPE I GET EVERYBODY!! (see bottom)**

**Chapter 7: Forming Alliances **

So, apparently my siblings told Esme how Bella wasn't the only person I've messed with and now, mommy dearest is making me sit out of the baseball game. Perfect weather, might I add. I guess _some _people jut can't take a joke.

The wedding is getting closer and closer. Now, it's only two weeks away. Counting this week. Wait, then that would make it next week. Wait, no it wouldn't that would make it the week after this next one. Ugh, damn it! Whenever the hell it is, it's close! Alice, Rosalie, and Bella picked out the flowers yesterday. Why you need to plan what flowers you're going to use, I don't know. I'm just glad to see my soon-to-be-baby-sister and the light of my life getting along. Ever since that talk Rose had with Bella, she's been a lot…eh, calmer, if you will, with Bella. She's not as angry towards her. People don't seem to understand that Rosalie's in fact very sweet once you get to know her; she's just protective of her family. It's the only one she's got. I love her so much.

Any who, I was sitting on the stupid ground next to Bella. Hardcore baseball wasn't really something Bella needed to get into yet. I looked over at her and she jerked her head the other way.

"Oh come on, Bella. You're not still mad are you?" She slowly turned her head back to me.

"Emmett, you-I-cut-Ugh!" I'm taking that as a yes. Seeing her so angry was a little funny. I tried to stifle the small giggle crawling up my throat. Bella scrunched her eyebrows at me in a glare. Then picked up a small pebble and guess what she did with it.

"Jeez Bella, taking lessons from Edward?" If I were human, I'd have a concussion by now. That made her laugh.

"Finally, I do something to make you laugh. It was just a joke. You can't stay mad at me forever." At that, she raised her eyebrows.

"Whatever." I said. Then a thought hit me. Bella's been my pal during this my whole plan to abash the family - well until she was the target - but still, she had been in on 90 of it.

"Hey, Bella. (wow I've said your name like a 100 times) any who, if Edward were to do something that made you totally mad at him, what you do to get him back?" This should be interesting.

**Bella's POV**

It was yet another stormy day in Forks. These days were so annoying, but in a strange sense, I loved them. Emmett was sitting next to me. Stupid, arrogant, Emmett. The rest of the Cullens were out on the "baseball field" playing ball.

I'm still mad at Emmett for doing what he did. That was horrible! What did I ever do to him anyway?! Edward had taken me in his room and helped me in some other clothes. I got stuck in one of my extra pairs of jeans and his t-shirt.

"_Wow." Edward said slowly. "You look better in my clothes than I do!"_

_I had to laugh at that. His eyes were wide and a smile played across his lips. _

"_Seriously Bella. Feel free to not bring any clothes with you next time." I raised my eyebrows at him. His smile formed into the wonderful crooked grin I knew and loved. His eyes narrowed a little. _

"_You know what I mean." After that, we ended up staying in his bedroom, lying on the couch, and listening to one of his many c.d's._

I thought about what he had said that day. The more I thought about it, the more I hoped Edward wouldn't be too angry that I stole his favorite hoodie. Hmm, hopefully I'd get let off the hook. If he ever finds out.

I sat there watching him catching at third base. He looked unworldly. Little whisps of his hair swinging to his face. The wind tugging on one side of his shirt, revealing a little more of his exposed chest. He bent down and put his hands on his knees. His face was blank as he watched Jasper step up to the plate. I think Edward finally realized I was staring at him like an idiot. His eyes suddenly flickered to mine. I smiled to myself as I tilted my head to the side away from his gaze. My cheeks grew a little warm. When I looked back up, he was still staring at me. When our eyes met, he gave me my favorite smile and chased the ball into the woods. I sighed as I watched him return. That's when I saw Emmett's head turn to me in my peripheral vision. I looked away.

"Oh come on, Bella. You're not still mad are you?" What!

"Emmett, you-I-cut-Ugh!" My incoherency was not only because Edward's previous distraction, but also because yes, I was still mad. Not a good combination to form sentences. I glared at him. He had the nerve to laugh at me for it too! So I picked up a small rock that was by my leg and threw it at him.

"Jeez Bella, taking lessons from Edward?" I remembered how Emmett had gotten hit in the head at least 15 times by Edward so far. I chuckled.

"Finally, I do something to make you laugh. It was just a joke. You can't stay mad at me forever." You wanna bet, I said to myself.

"Whatever." He said. As I watched him, his face flickered through many emotions. First, he it looked as if he were thinking, yeah right. Then his face went to curiosity and finally, slightly amused.

"Hey, Bella. (wow I've said your name like a 100 times) any who, if Edward were to do something that made you totally mad at him, what you do to get him back?"

"Huh?"

"You know. If Edward did something that made you mad or embarrassed, what would be your revenge?" He seemed very interested.

I don't know what I would do. Probably forget it. It's not like he would do intentionally.

"Forget it I gue-" Emmett cut me off.

"Seriously? You'd forgive him just like that?"

"Well what do you want me to say?" Maybe he's up to something.

"You are no help at all, you know that?" Yep, he's up to something.

"If you want my help, you have to promise me three things." He looked at me curiously.

"What are your conditions?" He asked, eyes still narrowed.

"1) I don't get affected by it. 2) No one gets hurt. And 3) It's not illegal." By the time I finished, he stared at me. Clearly shocked.

"How do have _fun?_" Hah! Silly, silly Emmett. After a small conversation going over Emmett's explanation, he told me who he had picked this time. Rosalie.

"Oh dear, Emmett. I don't want any part in that." His face fell.

"Why?" Aw, his face was so cute!! I just wanted to give him a huge hug.

"Because Emmett." I placed my hand on his back. "Rosalie and I are finally on a…well…she's not as, aggressive towards me as she used to be. I don't want to ruin that." I said that last sentence a little too loud I guess. His face panicked.

"SHH!! Bella, there's a reason I've been talking low!" Then he relaxed. "But I might need help." He sulked.

"How about this: I'll help you by not telling anyone about you're plan, --"

As I opened my mouth to finish, he cut me off again.

"That would help, but come on. I need more than that, Bella!"

"You didn't let me finish." He quiet tearing out grass from the dirt and looked at me.

"I'll help you by not telling anyone about you're plan," He started to open his mouth, I held up my finger, "_and_ I won't let Edward bash in your head." At that, his face beamed. When I saw how happy he was to not have his head aimed at - for the time being - I cracked up.

Edward walked over to us and sat down beside me. His hair wind blown, his shirt still playing tug-o-war, and slightly moist from the rain.

"What's so funny?" He asked and kissed me on my damp cheek.

"(laughs a little more) Oh nothing." I looked at Emmett.

"Hey _EDDIE_!" Edward glared. I saw felt his hand twitch on my shoulder. Emmett looked at me. I quickly grabbed it before I broke my side of the deal. Edward looked at me confused. Emmett looked relieved.

"You shouldn't waste a hit on Emmett. He's not worth that." I said giggling a little. Emmett's face scrunched up. Edward laughed.

"Yeah you're right." Edward said. Emmett scowled.

"You know, I could take you anyways! Come on, best friend. We don't need Eddie!" . I found this very entertaining! Edward growled. Forgetting they had both looped their arms around mine, they shot up into a standing position and faced each other. I went flying up along with them. Except my feet left the ground. I was no longer connected to them. Emmett grabbed my waist. I laughed even harder when he lifted me around his hip like he was carrying a four year old. Edward glared at him. Emmett laughed with me.

"Let" giggle "Me" giggle "Down." Emmett calmed down a bit, but turned me even farther from Edward's reach.

"He's gonna hurt you, you know!" I told Emmett. He let me down. Edward wasn't inches away from us. Emmett and I giggled a little. I put my hand on Edward's chest.

"Let's go Eddie."

"Again with the Eddie! It's still not fair! I think if she get's that right, I should too!" Edward looked a little frightened to tell the truth. Then we took off.

**Emmett's POV**

So I got Bella on my side. That technically included Edward. He didn't get to hit me and he didn't know what was going on. Therefore, I'm clear! Of course, I'd have to talk to Alice. She'd tell Rose. Hm, how do I get through to Alice…without planning it…avoiding her visions…alone. This would be a little more difficult. She's less gullible than Bella. I'd get her though.

888888888888888888888888

Alice was just getting home from picking up the rest of the decorations. Good thing we live far away from people. It would be highly suspicious if they saw tiny Alice carrying a stack of boxes bigger than she is in just one hand. Very suspicious indeed.

When she came to the door, I opened it for her. She looked at me for a second then headed to the back yard. I followed her. Alice abruptly stopped and set the boxes on the table next to her.

"And what do I get out of it?" So she has already seen it.

"You don't take blame?" I asked meekly. She pondered for a minute.

"I can talk my way out of it. What else you got?" Dang. This is hard!

"T.v. rights for the whole next month." Her eyes narrowed.

"Keep talking." Why couldn't Alice be like Bella? I thought of something. No, I couldn't. I wouldn't.

"Done!" Alice chirped happily. I groaned.

"Come on, Alice! That's a little below the belt, don't you think?"

"Yeah… I guess you're right. But that won't stop me!" She skipped merrily back to her Porsche.

My plan will just have to work. I'm giving up a lot for this and damn it, Rose better fall for it!

**THANK YOU AND I'M SORRY TOO:**

**Noddingnod, DelilahTCullen, AchavaElah Kyohaku, Iwaslikejoe, Flashster12, Ginafan, xxeclipsexx, Aye Chihuahua, Twilightteen-2011, FireCats20, Allie Capphar, Maya Swan, DorkySexyVixen, Im with the vampires3, Kristina-Marie-Swan-. **

**A special thanks to: Twilightteen2011, Aye Chihuahua, FireCats20, DorkySexyVixen, and anyone else who's reviewed every chapter. **

**Not to mention the few of you that have been pming back and forth with me. That's been fun!! Send me more, you know I love to hear from you!!**


	9. Every Rose Has It's Thorn

**Sorry it took so long to get this up. I've been…well just haven't found the time. But I finally have and I'm hoping it doesn't disappoint you. At the bottom, I've listed all the wonderful people that reviewed. Also I'd like to thank people who've added me to their favorites/alerts. That means a lot. **

**Haha, so Misha enjoyed me mentioning her last chapter. Since she is so sweet, I'll give her another shout out for the heck of it. HI MISHA!! YOU'RE AWESOME!! Everyone say hi to Misha!**

**Chapter 9: Every Rose Has It's Thorn**

So I had to make a deal with Alice. In other words, I just sold my soul to the Devil. I can't believe what she made me let her do. I hope it's worth it!

Edward, Jasper, and I were out hunting. A day without the girls was nice, though it's annoying having Edward mope everywhere. Suck it up, man! Anyhow, I was going over the plan in my head. This was going to be fun. Quiet scary, might I add…

Right now, the girls were all at the house doing God knows what. The coast was clear. While Jasper and Edward were off in the forest, I ran towards home. I stopped at the garage, which was a good distance from the house. Quietly as I could, I opened the unused closet, pantry, whatever it's called, and emptied out my supplies.

The first thing I did was open the twenty bags of confetti. I loaded it all in the vents. Rosalie's car automatically turns the air conditioner on when it starts. I'll have to make sure Alice brings a camera! Alice. I looked over to my jeep, which was parked next to the BMW, and sighed. Better look while it lasts, I thought to myself.

Back to Rosie!

I gathered up all my "items" and got to work. After about three minutes, I finished up. I ripped open the small bag of balloons I had bought from the store and blew into one. It popped. I tried to blow up another one, blow up it did! I grabbed another one. Finally, I blew just the right amount of air. Ha, blow. That's what she said! Focus, Emmett, focus!!

I tied the knot on the balloon and attached it to the rear tire. I put it where it could remain unseen. The color of the balloon blended in well with the garage background.

Now, all I had to do was wait. "Oh! I almost forgot!" I whispered to myself. I suddenly remembered the last thing. I peeled off the bumper sticker and slapped it on the back. It was a rather large one and covered the whole half of the bumper. Ah, sweet success.

I ran back to the forest. Luckily, there was still time to hunt. I was searching for a grizzly. There weren't any in sight. I tried looking for something big enough, that's when I saw it. The cutest little bunny!!

"Hi, bunny!! You're soo cute!" It started to run from me, but of course I am much faster. I picked it up and held it in my hands.

"You're so tiny!! I never had a pet bunny…" sigh, "It's not safe to have one where I live…You'd get along with Kiwi…" I thought to myself. Jasper's reaction to Kiwi. That was priceless! But I did feel kind of sad for the poor doggy, "If only you knew his fate." I pet the bunny again. I didn't even notice the other two watching me as I cuddled the bunny to my face.

"You. have. _got. _To be kidding me." I heard Edward say.

"Dude," Jasper put his hand on my shoulder, "You seriously need to get a hobby." I shot them both the finger. They shook their heads and laughed. Jack-asses.

It was now past midnight. Time to get back to the house. When we stepped through the door, Alice gave me a mischievous look. Oh no. This sucks!

"Not now. Can't it wait till later?" I begged her. She rolled her eyes and walked to Jasper. Edward headed upstairs to the sleeping human. I, myself, went upstairs to find Rosalie painting her nails.

"What's up, bubble butt?" I greeted her. She chuckled.

"Hey Tweedle Dum. How was your trip?"

"It was…_ok._ What did you girls do?" She blew on her nails and suddenly, they were dry. Being a vampire is _so _cool sometimes! We kissed for a minute. And after that…well, you know.

The next morning, I went with Jasper to some book store.

"Ugh, dude! How do you _do _this?" Jasper glanced up at me.

"Emmett, it's just a book. You look at the words and turn the page." And they call me a smart ass. I threw the book down on the chair next to the shelf we were at. Jasper shook his head at me. I scanned the books that were facing us. One grabbed my attention instantly. I picked it up and opened it in the middle. My eyes bulged out of my head!"W-o-w! Is that really possible?" I asked. This book was definitely one I've never seen!

"What are you tal-" Jasper stopped when he saw what I was looking at, his mouth formed on O and his eyes were wide. Then his brows furrowed. "No way. Humans can't bend like that! They'd break!" I chuckled and flipped the page. I'm not sure what it was!

I tried turning the book upside down, to the side, but I couldn't find out what the picture was. Jasper and I tilted our heads to the side.

"How the hell do they do that?!" Jasper said, clearly shocked. I shut the book, wanting to see the name.

_Karma Sutra_.

Realizing what we had just seen, I shut the book and put it back on the shelf. We whistled casually and left.

**Alice POV**

I told Emmett to go waste some time with Jasper, just to get out of the house…and to give him an alibi. Oh my dear brother, you should know by now that whether or not we made a deal, Rose will still kill you! Just this time, he had to drag me into it! Oh well, I least I get something out of it!

The wedding was all planned. All that needed to be done was the wedding itself! Well, also it's needs to be set up, but it's too early for that. I can't wait! Bella will freak!

I put up my binder and went to Edward's room. Him and Bella were on the bed ogling at each other. I decided to interrupt. I jumped on the bed.

"Hey family, what's up?" Edward growled. "Oh, shut it Edward. Hey Bella, what's up, what's new, how's it going?"

"Wow, you're really bored aren't you?" She asked. I couldn't deny that. After a few minutes of talking with Bella, while Edward glared at me the whole time, the boys finally got home. I ran downstairs to greet my husband.

I stopped half way down the stairs. My eyes glazed over and my mind went somewhere else. A vision.

_Rosalie gives Emmett a chaste kiss on the lips. _

"_Where'd you say you were going?" Emmett asks. _

"_Alice and I are going shopping since SOMEONE decided to use my heels as wall hooks!" _

"_Well, I needed somewhere to hang my keys. I always forget where they are!" He defends himself. _

"_I'll meet you there in a minute Rose, I forgot to tell Bella something." I say. _

_Smiling, Rosalie and I head out to the garage. I look back at Bella to see her face scared, awaiting Rose's little surprise. I giggle at her. Suddenly there was a loud pop. _

"_EMMETT!! WHAT THE FU."_The vision ended. What good timing too! I started laughing. I had to put my hand on Edward's shoulder, who was nearest me, to help keep my balance. I looked at him, he was confused.

"You'll see." I said to him. I patted Emmett on the back and went to Jasper.

"Emmett, what are my heels doing sticking out of the wall. With your keys hanging in the toe!" Rosalie asked from upstairs. This is going to get good! She came running down the stairs holding a pair of her heels.

My eyes lit up. SHOPPING!! So, I doubt we'll actually get to the mall seeing as what happened in my vision, but still. We had to go _sometime. _

I felt bad for setting up my own sister, but Emmett would get it worse. I'll just blame him.

**Edward POV**

Bella and I were heading downstairs to the living room with Alice. I was a little irritated with her barging in on us! As we reached the middle of the stair case, she stopped. Her eyes kind of glazed over. She was having a vision. I watched it play through her head, as it did mine.

It stopped right when Rose's profanity started. What was that all about? I looked to Alice who was laughing so hard she had to hold on to me so she didn't roll down the steps.

"You'll see." Was all she said. I watched as she walked over to Emmett and patted his back. Something's going on and it involved Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie. I thought back for a minute to the baseball game. Emmett and Bella were laughing at something and wouldn't tell me. Wait, Bella's in on this?! No, she couldn't be. She'd say something to me.

Rosalie's voice filled the air. She was upset because apparently Emmett used her shoes for hanging his keys with. I swear this family never get's boring.

She came downstairs with the shoes in her hand. Whatever Alice saw was happening soon. I poked my way around the room, seeing if I could get some kind of information.

_Almost there! This is going to be so good! She's totally going to kill me, but whatever. Maybe I can talk my way out of it. There's no proof that I did it anyway!_

So Emmett was the mastermind…

_Haha! This is going to be funny! She's totally going to kill him! Knowing Emmett, he'll try to talk his way out of it, making it more obvious that it was him. Hopefully he didn't leave any evidence behind. _

And Alice obviously played some part in it. Covering for him, from the sounds of it.

_Wow. How do people come up with stuff like that? Humans must get seriously bored. Though it was an interesting book. Hmm, Alice…book…me…_

A smile broke out on Jasper's face. I don't even want to know!

Of course I couldn't see what Bella's part was in this. I could ask her, but it wasn't long until it happened. Now that I think about it, I don't want her hanging out with my siblings too much. They're definitely not good influences!!

They're fun, nice, and had manners, but their minds are horrid. The way they think sometimes is disturbing!

I looked down at Bella and her eyes looked anxious. She was nervous about something.

**Bella POV**

Crap! She's going out to the car. What if she finds out I knew about this all along? She'll hate me! She'll kill me! No wait, she'll just kill Emmett. If we're lucky, Rose will have no clue Alice and I took part in this…despite the fact that Alice has her digital camera in her back pocket…and hooked up a camcorder in the garage…

Maybe Emmett can talk his way out of it. I mean, the only reason to suspect him is because he's a goofball. Unlike the rest of us who know better than to mess with Rosalie's car. Yep, he's dead. I hope he hid or threw out the rest of the stuff.

**Rosalie POV**

That boy, I swear! These are one of my favorite pairs of heels! He can be so dumb sometimes. Or "creative" as he calls it.

"Sorry, Rosie. I won't do it again." He apologized. I loved my knucklehead.

"Let me just go cover up the holes before Esme sees." I ran to our bedroom and slid the bed over to the wall. The high head-board covered them up.

I went back downstairs to Alice so we could leave. I gave Emmett a peck on the lips.

"Where'd you say you were going?" He asked.

"Alice and I are going shopping since SOMEONE decided to use my heels as wall hooks!"

"Well, I needed somewhere to hang my keys. I always forget where they are!" I rolled my eyes. And grabbed my keys out of my purse.

"I'll meet you there in a minute Rose, I forgot to tell Bella something." I say.

I nodded and smiled, letting her know I'd wait.

I opened the garage door without even looking up. I opened my car door and a pool of puffy peanut squishy stuff came flowing out. My car was packed with them!!

**(you know that soft stuff people fill boxes with that have breakable things in them? Like when you're moving. They're called something peanuts. I forgot, but yeah, that's what it is. Lets call it stuffing/squishy stuff.)**

I forced myself in the seat. All the while, crushing and swimming through the stuffing. I was going to pull out into the grass so I could clean all this out. I was so mad it wasn't even funny! I tried putting the key in the ignition, but my hand was shaking. I dropped them. Ugh! I dug through the stuffing trying to find them. I finally got them and jammed them in the ignition. As my car started, confetti blew out of the vents getting everywhere. The air also blew the squishy stuff around too! I was a mess.

"Damn it!" I yelled. I had to my car out of the garage and get this crap out!!

That's when I looked up and saw it. Through the windshield I saw a camera with a red light flashing. Emmett. My jaw clenched tight as ever, my hands almost breaking the steering wheel, I switched gears to reverse and stepped on the gas. I heard a pop come from the back tire. MY CAR!!

"EMMETT!! WHAT THE F&CK?!"

**So there you go! A long chapter to make up for the long absence. Hope you like it! No, the story is not over yet, there's still more to come!! **

**EmilyMCullen, Misha, xxeclipsexx, bellacullen12, Dandelion Cat, LaTuaCantante14, Hina, Twilighteen-2011, Kristina-Marie-Swan-, FireCats20, Flashster12, and iwaslikejoe.**

**Oh. Another thing. At the very very end, kind of like ending credits. I'm mentioning everyone who has reviewed at all, added this to their alerts/favorites, and adding ME to their alerts/favorites. That means a lot!! It really does. LOVE YOU ALL!! Feel free to p.m. me!!**


	10. Shopping Shackles

**Ok, so this chapter has more of Edward dealing with his "teenage issues" with Bella. ALSO you will find out the beat Alice made with Emmett! So don't worry, you'll find out what it is. Once again, I listed the wonderful reviewers at the bottom. But I also wanted to tell the lovely Misha that a few people did say hi. **

**This time, I think DorkySexyVixen deserves a shout out. She's reviewed every chapter with the nicest things to say! Not only that, but she's reviewed every chapter of Tantalizing as well. I know some of you have done the same and I thank you with as much love and appreciation as I can!! So every one say to her!! THANK YOU DORKYSEXYVIXEN, YOU'RE AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU!!**

**There's also iwaslikejoe. Such a sweetheart. I can tell my stories are really enjoyed by her. THANK YOU IWASLIKEJOE!! I APPRECIATE ALL YOUR REVIEWS AND SUCH. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST!! SO EVERYONE, DON'T FORGET TO SAY TO IWASLIKEJOE AS WELL!**

**I won't be able to update until next week. I'm flying back to my mom's house for school and stuff. So yeah. I actually get really busy this month and so on so I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update. There's still a few more chapters left to this story. Everyone gets their revenge. So review, tell me what you think.**

**Chapter 10: Shopping Shackles**

**Bella POV  
**  
Emmett had been shut up in his room. Rosalie wouldn't let him out. Every now and then there was a questionable crash followed by, "Oops. Sorry!" I had no desire to find out what it was.

Ever since Alice practically ratted him out and claimed us as innocent, Rose wasn't very happy with Emmett, to say the least.

"He's such a dumbass!! I can't believe he did that!! Do you know how many people flipped me off on the highway because of that stupid bumper sticker?!" The one thing none of us saw until after the "incident" was the bumper sticker. Unfortunately, that was after Rose had gone out driving. It said, Caution: I set fire to small children. Wanted in four states and the Philippines . Yeah, the bad part? People actually believed it…not to mention she was in Seattle when it was noticed. A place no one knows her and is occupied by lots of stupid people. Not the best combo.

"I know! And he got that stupid dog for one reason…ME!" Jasper said. He was still irked at Emmett for the whole Kiwi thing. I couldn't blame him, poor Kiwi. We all took a moment of silence.

"And me! He made me think my pants died! Not to mention sent the whole gay community after me! I LOVE gay people, you all know that. But seriously! I had to change my number!" Poor Alice. She had been getting calls for a week about guys_ and_ girls wanting to be her 'daddy', both gay and straight. The people of Forks seriously need a dose of purity.

"What about me?" I said. Emmett had put me through a lot! "Emmett totally humiliated me! Did you see what happened to my clothes? What was really disturbing was I didn't even notice until I came downstairs." I shuddered. Painful memories. My face went red just thinking about what happened.

Then there was Edward. Poor thing. "Ha! You guys didn't get tricked into…sending…certain messages." He said, his face tilted down, if he could blush, he'd give me a run for my money. "And don't forget his little 'porn poems' he gave me and Bella. That was horrible!" His face looked so embarrassed and pained. I couldn't help but laugh a little. He looked at me, pouting.

"Aww! I'm sorry Edward." I held his head to my chest and started petting his hair. "It's just that, the poems were kinda funny. And there was nothing wrong with those messages!!" He scowled and I laughed again. I leaned down and whispered into his ear so quietly that I couldn't even hear, "I saved them, too."

"You know what this means, don't you?" Alice was practically bouncing with enthusiasm. "PAY BACK!"

**Alice POV**

Yay!! It's time to get revenge on my dear sweet brother. Not only to I still have my side of the deal, but now it gets to be pure torture! This was going to be good. So good! I can't wait!!

Let's see. What could we do. What could we do…I GOT IT!

"Ok, so listen up. Since we tricked all of us, we'll get him. Each of us gets to pick something. Then as a grand finale, we'll decide on one big thing!" They all nodded their heads in agreement. Then the conspiring began.

_I'm bringing sexy back. Yeah. _

_Them other boys don't know how to act. Yeah._

_I think it's special what's behind your back. _

_So turn around and I'll pick up the slack._

Fortunately, Emmett was a little busy with Justin Timberlake to be paying attention to what was going on downstairs. I saw a vision of him dancing like Michael Jackson to _SEXY BACK!! _

_Dirty babe. _

_You see these shackles, baby I'm your slave._

_I'll let you whip me if I misbehave. It's just that no one makes me feel this way._

Eww, I'm scarred!! IT BURNS!!

OOOooooOOooooooOOOoOooooOoOOOoOooOOoooOOOOoooooooOOOO

**Bella POV**

Today it was Alice's turn. I guess there wasn't any specific order. Her plan was more of a long term kind of thing. So hers would be best to start with. I was actually quiet scared of what she could come up with. As long as I didn't play any part in it, I'm interested in her plan.

"Ok, this is sooo easy! Well, I made a little deal with Emmett." She was careful not to say why because Rosalie still didn't know about my and Alice's interference…

"Al I have to do is step it up a notch. At first, I was going to be nice about it. But nope! Not anymore. I'm doing this hard core!"

"You made a deal with Emmett?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes." Luckily, Rose didn't ask any more questions.

"Ok, the deal was: I get to pick out his clothes for one week, take him on my next 5 shopping sprees, _and_ I get to decorate his jeep."

"He let you decorate his jeep?" Edward asked suspiciously.

She thought for a moment, "Nope! But too bad. It's happening now!" She started bouncing again.

"Ok, so I'll need to get him clothes for the whole week. I'll take him with me. That's one. Then Bella needs to get her Honeymoon clothes-slash-accessories. That's two." "Alice, I really don't want _me_ going, much less Emmett." Edward leaned over and kissed my neck.

"He won't make himself noticed. Trust me, love." OK! I said to myself. He smiled, I guess my expression gave me away.

"Back to the arrangements. Edward will need some stuff two, that's three.""Alice, my things are fine. I don't need you to go shopping for me.""Don't be silly Edward, you're coming too….Don't look at me that way! Bella will come too." Why do I always get dragged into these things?!"Alice, he's fine. He doesn't need anything! We're both prepared." I tried saving us both, apparently, I only saved Edward.

"Ugh! Fine. But you still need your stuff Bella and you're going with me! Don't try to stop me. That includes you Edward."

"So, two necessary shopping trips covered. I just need to take him on three more and that'll be done. In the meantime, I need to find stuff for his jeep." She looked to Rose.

"Rosie, I'm assuming you'd want to help me with that part."

"Stupid packing peanuts." She mumbled.

OOOooooOOooooooOOOoOooooOoOOOoOooOOoooOOOOoooooooOOOO

**Alice POV**

I would have taken Emmett with me to go shopping for decorations, but that would ruin the surprise.

We stopped at some small shop that had everything from cell phone charms to car accessories. Thank you, shopping! I pulled my Porsche into the parking lot. Rose and I got out and started looking for things that would fit perfectly for my design. Half an hour later we finished.

Since Edward could read my mind and see how I wanted things, he helped me set it up. Bella handed us the stuff out of the bags as we went. In ten minutes, we were finished.

"Wait Alice. There's a bottle of spray paint in here that you haven't used." Of course, how could I forget! As I started to reach for it, Edward's hand beat me. He shook the can. I scowled at him and put my hands on my hips. I'm supposed to do that!! This is my plan! It's not as fun watching it get spray painted than it is actually doing it! Then I saw what Edward was going to do. _Well, I guess that's ok, I still want to do it though_. I pouted. He just laughed. _Bella was right, he is a stupid mind reading vampire. _He looked at me questioningly.

**Edward POV (warning a little OOC)**

Today was the first day of Alice's little plan. She was taking Emmett on his first shopping trip for his clothes for the week. I had to admit that was definitely torture. Shopping. And with Alice! I shuddered.

Bella was sitting on my lap as we watched t.v. next to Rosalie and Jasper.

_Edward, can you come haul Emmett out of his bedroom? He's not listening to me and I can't get him to come down._

I sighed and lifted Bella off of me and set her back down where I had been sitting.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Alice needs help with Emmett." I kissed her quickly and headed upstairs to Emmett and Rosalie's room.

_I hear you Edward. You'll never get me out of here! I'd love to see you try!_

Why does everyone have to be so difficult? I wrenched open his door and saw him huddled in a corner.

"Seriously?" Ok, shopping was horrid. Shopping with Alice was scary, but couldn't he just do this with a little dignity?

"I don't see you going with her, Edward!" He spat.

"I didn't make the deal with her! Come on, do this with a bit of dignity." He huffed. Ok, so I'm going to have to use force. I walked over to him. I got him to the doorway without any help, but getting him downstairs was a different story. I called for Jasper. Together we managed to get him to the stairs. All the way complaining. We finally got him shoved out the front door and now we just had to get him in the car. Alice was going to drive his newly designed jeep.

"Come on! Us brothers have to stick together! If you do this I'll…I'll….I'll cry! I'll cry if you make me do this!""Emmett, you bone head, you can't cry." I said.

"Crap, you're right. I'll--no I can't do that either." Alice pulled up in front of us and opened the passenger door. When Emmett saw his car, he was shocked.

"You…you killed it. What did you do, Alice?!"

"I redecorated. Oh, and we're taking this car everywhere! Obviously." She said casually.

"Damn it! Does this world have no mercy?!" We strapped him the car, not that seat belts could hold him in there, but he finally shut up and started sulking. Jasper and I laughed at our brother's misery.

OOOooooOOooooooOOOoOooooOoOOOoOooOOoooOOOOoooooooOOOO

The two arrived back at the house at 7:00. They had been gone for seven hours. Emmett walked in carrying at least 10 bags. All from a different store. They were very large bags too!

"Alice, that's a bit much for a week don't you think?" I asked.

_Shut up Edward or I'll take you too!_

"Bella wouldn't let you." I mumbled. Bella didn't hear me, but Alice did. She stuck out her tongue and went with Emmett to put the bags away. He was still pouting.

The four of us were just sitting in the living room again. Jasper reading this time. Rosalie was doing her nails again. Bella was just sitting on my lap like always. It's become a habit for both of us.

"So Alice's is in progress and 1/3 of it is done. Who's next?" Bella asked. I peeked into Alice's mind. She was kind of the leader of this whole thing.

_Ok, so this shirt and those (Emmett stop squirming around!!) shoes. Ew, that doesn't match those pants. Ooh, but that blue totally matches with the…_

I tuned her out immediately. I actually felt a little guilt for Emmett. Well, I'm over it now.

"I'm not sure. Alice is a little occupied right now." I tried to think of a plan to get Emmett back for his dirty tricks he played on me. Twice. He got me twice.

First the 'porn poems.' How would I get him back for that? I can't believe he wrote those. They were humiliating. Though I did kind of get a kick out their creativity. I even imagined Bella and me while I read them a second time. Of course, I spent an hour scolding myself for such inappropriate thoughts. Eventually they progressed towards something that wasn't a poem and well…yeah. Suddenly, I started dwelling on that memory, the thoughts that had been in my head were replaying themselves. I started day dreaming…

WHOA!! That's new! Damn!

Crap! You are such a pervert, Edward Cullen!! You were raised better than that, a proper gentleman you are. Not some filthy perv who thinks about something as pure as Bella in such an obscene way! What would your mother say?!

I couldn't think about what my mom would say to such things. She'd be very disappointed…and shocked. Just as I was starting to clear up, I realized Bella was on my lap still. That's definitely a habit we need to break. Ever since that day in the meadow when I told her I was ready, we've gotten physically closer. Like there was more cuddling when she slept, she sits on my lap, there's never any space between us. Oh dear! Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts!! Leave!! I love Bella. She's innocent and wonderful. Innocent. Think innocent. Take a deep breath. Whew. Ok. You're good. Once again Cullen, you've proved yourself worse than that mutt.

"Edward, are you ok?"

"Yes, love. I'm fine." I lied. "Let's go upstairs and listen to music or something." That should help.

OOOooooOOooooooOOOoOooooOoOOOoOooOOoooOOOOoooooooOOOO

During the time we were in my room, a few screams came from Emmett's room. Some of them were Alice's, some were Emmett's. Rosalie was having a blast listening down stairs. Alice screamed for the outfits. Emmett just screamed in terror. It was all so amusing.

"Hey Edward. You haven't told me your 'revenge plan' yet." Bella looked up from the book she was reading and was staring at me. We were just sitting on my couch. She was leaning into me as I sat in the corner of the armrest and back.

"Well. I haven't really thought of anything."

"Me neither. Maybe we could help each other!" It was so cute the way she got excited over helping each other get back at my brother. I smiled. She jumped into my lap and the smile was gone.

"Uh, sure." This needed fixing. But I couldn't tell her to get off of me. It would come out wrong and she'd think I was rejecting her. If only she knew. If only…

"Ok, so maybe I should cut up his clothes and write--no Alice would kill me. Oh, I got an idea for you! Why don't you find some really gross animal blood. Eww! It's all gross if you ask me. Any who, tell him you found a grizzly and put the blood near the bear so it doesn't smell like anything else! Oh wait. That's stupid isn't it." She sighed and kept thinking.

"No. It's not stupid. In fact, it's pretty clever for a human." Her face lit up when I called her clever. She started bouncing up and down. Dear god, what is she trying to do to me?!

"So you think it'll work?" She asked, still bouncing. I closed my eyes and tried clearing away the thoughts.

"Uh. Y-yeah. I s-s-suppose it would." I knew it wouldn't. The smells didn't work like that. I could mix it with something. Emmett would be too…oh god, she's bouncing faster and clapping her hands!! This is bad! CULLEN, CONTROL YOURSELF!! You are such a disgrace! What would your mother say? What would your mother say? What would your mother say? It's not working! I quickly stood up and caught Bella before she fell.

She looked at me with confusion written all over her face. I was speechless. How was I going to explain that one? I started to open my mouth when there was a piercing scream. We ran out of the room to the scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! THAT BELT GOES WITH THE OTHER OUTFIT!! EMMETT YOU FREAK!"

Saved! I never though I'd be thankful for Alice's fashion sense.

**Thank you I love you all:Sophia24, LaTuaCantante14, Misha, Mimi-Love-4ever, TheLionFellInLoveWithTheLamb, SinkFish, devilstwin6969, iwaslikejoe, Allie Capphar, EmilyMCullen, addicted2twilight88, hina2009, FireCats20, Kristina-Marie-Swan, and DorkySexyVixen.**

**GO TO MY PROFILE AND READ MY TWO IDEAS FOR A NEW BOOK I'M THINKING ABOUT. I RRRREEEEEEAAAALLLLLYYYYY NEED YOUR VOTE. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ACTUALLY LIKE MY FANFICS AND ALL. IT WOULD REALLY HELP ME OUT!!**


	11. The Icing on the Donut

**First off, I'd like to apologize not only for my long delay, but also for my…vulgar chapters. There are a couple that are kind of…out of line. I have matured, I guess, over the past few months, let alone 8 months or so. I just now read over this since I've written it and I am going to do some serious editing to censor Chapter 2 and 3. Sorry about that, I myself, was pretty shocked. Any who, thank you all!!**

**And I'm sorry I won't be able to write everyone who reviewed last chapter. I'll do it next time though. I'm deeply sorry. Please enjoy! I know you've waited awhile for this.**

**Chapter 11: The Icing on the Donut  
_(Donut or Doughnut?)_**

_Previously_--"_Uh. Y-yeah. I s-s-suppose it would." I knew it wouldn't. The smells didn't work like that. I could mix it with something. Emmett would be too…oh god, she's bouncing faster and clapping her hands!! This is bad! CULLEN, CONTROL YOURSELF!! You are such a disgrace! What would your mother say? What would your mother say? What would your mother say? It's not working! I quickly stood up and caught Bella before she fell._ _She looked at me with confusion written all over her face. I was speechless. How was I going to explain that one? I started to open my mouth when there was a piercing scream. We ran out of the room to the scream._ _"AAAHHH!! THAT BELT GOES WITH THE OTHER OUTFIT!! EMMETT YOU FREAK!"_ _Saved! I never though I'd be thankful for Alice's fashion sense._

**EPOV  
**"What the crap?! They're both black!" Emmett yelled back.  
"You idiot, you can't wear two blacks together like that! They mess each other up and it looks like some other funky color. Now put this—NO!—oh jeez, Emmett, it's not that hard!" My sister countered.

Bella rolled her eyes, as did I. Rosalie was standing in the doorway beside us just shaking her head.  
"Alice, you're emasculating my husband." She said.  
"You know what, Rose? He agreed to it! And why does it bother you? Three letters. B.M.W." It worked. Rosalie fumed then stalked off to the living room.

Jasper still sat in the chair channel surfing when suddenly he paused on Unwrapped. At first I couldn't figure out his train of thought. It was rather choppy. Then he pictured about a dozen boxes of donuts. Then Alice's vision popped into my head.

_"No! My turn. Truth or Dare?" Jasper asks Emmett.  
"DARE! Dude, you should know that by now!" He replies. Jasper smiles evilly. _

Hmm. I wonder what that was all about. I took Bella's hand and led her back to my room. I was careful not to touch her too much. My body was still calming down…

I went downstairs to make sense of the vision. Jasper, of course, sensed my feelings, "Hey Edward, how's it hangin'?" I growled at his absurd inquiry. He smirked.

"What was with the truth or dare?" I asked him bluntly. He told me in his head his plan to get back at Emmett. I suppose it was well thought out and put together. It would take him a while to cough all of it up. That was not going to be fun. The thought made me feel better though.

Alice and Emmett came down. Emmett was back in his jeans and sweatshirt. Alice looked a little irked.  
"He barely fit in the halter. It ripped at the seams. You're too bulky!" She said as she slapped his stone arm. He just smiled.  
"I've got the body of an angel, Alice. That shirt fell apart just being next to me." He said smugly and took the remote from Jasper. She crossed her arms and sat on the couch.

Now that I had heard Jasper's explanation, I went back upstairs to Bella. She was sitting on my couch running her fingers through her hair. Her eyes were closed and she hummed to the music. It was beautiful. I quietly walked over and sat down next to her. She didn't open her eyes, but she smiled and leaned her head against my shoulder.

"Hi." Bella said. She kissed my neck. I smiled.  
"Well, hello!" I replied. She kissed my cheek. I turned to look at her and she kissed my lips. Her lips were soft and warm. This wasn't helping me heal from that scene a few minutes ago.

**APOV**  
After the little 'halter incident', Emmett and I gave up for the night. Edward was still there talking with Jasper when we came down. He left shortly. Well, jeez. Forgive me if my bone headed brother is shredding the hot stuff I got him and shows no grief! None of the men understood me! Not _all_ of the women did either! Sounds like a personal problem to me.

I sat down on the couch and cuddled into Jasper's side. We watched t.v. for a minute until Emmett went back to channel surfing. We had every channel only because there wasn't much else to do, and why not? It wasn't as if we couldn't afford it. The bad side to that was we got _every_ channel. We were in the 700s when a very graphic scene caught Emmett's interest.  
"Now really, how do humans manage _that?!" _I squealed and turned my face in Jasper's chest to block the images Emmett was sending me of him and my sister. EW!! I yelled at him to change the channel, but he just laughed and slowly continued. Emmett- you stupid, disgusting fool!

"Welcome to MY world." Edward's voice came from upstairs.

Jasper leaned to my ear and whispered too low for Emmett to hear, "We should start." I agreed and went up to Edward's room to tell him. For some reason he wasn't answering any of my thoughts. When I got up to the door, I didn't bother knocking. I never do. Mistake. Edward was kissing Bella's neck on the couch. And I mean _really kissing_!  
"What is with this family and their uncontrollable hormones?!"  
"Sounds like a personal problem to me." Edward didn't raise his head, but smiled against her skin.  
Bella's face turned bright red and her eyes popped open.  
"Yeah, that's right. At least Bella shows some shame, Edward." He laughed. God, he could get so annoying. He mused my hair as he came to me.

I told him he should go ahead and pick them up. Bella was going with him, though she had no clue where. It would take them about…10 minutes according to my vision. The boys would start playing in 5.

Carlisle and Esme were talking to Jasper when we got down there. I suppose Jasper had filled them in on the plan. No secrets. They shook their heads. Emmett and Rosalie were nowhere to be found.  
"You know," Carlisle started, "MOST kids go the movies or the mall when they're bored."

**BPOV  
**I got in the car with Edward and to be honest, had no clue what was going on. Alice just came in our room and told us we should go now. At that moment, I really hated her timing.

Edward pulled into the Krispy Kreme parking lot. I questioned it, but all he said was, "Jasper's orders." What did that mean? Edward ordered five large boxes of donuts and went back to the car. We held hands the ride home.

When we opened the door, I heard Rosalie shout 'they're back!' Esme and Carlisle said they'd rather not witness their children's act of revenge and went hunting together. Edward disappeared from my side then reappeared instantly, but his arms were empty when he came back. He smiled and led me to the living room. Emmett and Jasper were sitting across from each other on the floor.

"Truth or Dare, Jay jay?"  
"Ugh. Truth." Jasper said.  
"Boring! Have you ever…thought about another female after you met Alice?" Emmett wriggled his eyebrows.  
"No! My turn. Truth or Dare?"  
"DARE! Dude, you should know that by now!" Jasper gave a creepy, evil grin. They got up and went into the kitchen. We all followed. Emmett was confused at first.  
"For Bella? Don't people usually eat—those things—in—the morn-ing?" His speech slowed halfway through as he realized what—no. WHOM they were for.  
"You're sick." He muttered. Jasper doubled over in laughter.

**By the way, I'm still interested in any ideas for pranks to get back at Emmett. I believe there's still Edward, Bella, and Rosalie left. I'll only choose two though. Same with Tantalizing. Taking ideas for that too. Tell me what YOU want to read. Also, if you haven't already, check out MY APOLOGIES! on my profile. **By the way, sorry about the length, or lack of. It looked a lot longer before I put it on here.


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